kellyoxford:

CLICK!

The article Kelly Oxford wrote in GQ I talked about is now online. Enjoy.

kellyoxford:

                                       

GOOD REASONS:
1. I wrote an essay about SEX and it is in this issue
2. It’s their best-selling issue of all time!!!!!!!*

*conjecture!!!!!!!

I read Kelly’s piece on couples bartering with sex on the plane on the way to Coachella. I have to tell you that it is probably the best thing I’ve read in GQ since I’ve started reading GQ in high school. I must have read it 20 times so far.

Trust me on this. Go out and buy it.

I’m dating. Here’s a cheat sheet.

• There should be alcohol. - Imagine getting your teeth pulled without anesthesia. This doesn’t mean get drunk however.

• Wear what you’re going to wear all day. - Otherwise you’ll be fidgeting in clothes you never wear unless you’re on a date. And that makes you look nervous. Break em in. Bonus: Also prevents overdressing.

• Cologne tricks - Apply them to jackets/coats/scarves when you buy them. Things that don’t get washed often. They’ll retain a faint scent. You will want to do this to all your leather jackets, trust me. Date day: Apply ONE spritz in the morning. It’ll fade out nicely come date time.

• Glasses or contacts? - Glasses. They’re the British Accent of the face.

• Only go to places you’ve been to before. - So when she asks you what’s good here, you won’t answer “I don’t know.”

• If you need to talk directly into her ear for her to hear you. - You’re not in a bar. You’re in a club. You have failed. Get better taste.

• On that note, tell her where you’re taking her. - Surprises require trust. She doesn’t even know you yet. She’ll probably Google it too. Assuming you have some taste, you’ll get bonus points for picking some place that doesn’t look creepy or douchey.

• Turn off your phone. - In case of real emergency, borrow the phone from the guy sitting next to you who is taking photos of his drink to Tweet.

• 60/40 - Ask questions/listen 60% of the time. Talk about yourself 40% of the time. 70% drinks, 30% food. Bloating is not sexy.

• Pay - Because YOU asked HER out. Imagine if your friend offered to take you on a trip to Europe. You arrive at the airport with your bags packed and realize you need to pay for the ticket. Trip sucks now doesn’t it?

• Spot hop - Assuming it goes well, have a few places in mind close by you can hop to to continue the date. Can also be used to abandon first choice early if needed.

• None of this matters - if you are boring and/or an asshole. Work on that.